It's been over 2 years since I began this blog. I am horrible about sticking with projects, but I know that I have these "entries" that are stuck inside me that need to come out. So much has happened in the past couple of years that I want to talk about...need to talk about...it's like therapy. Just really cheap therapy. So, I am not turning the TV on. Staying off of Facebook. Not answering the phone. For today, anyways. ;) Stick around.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Till I see you again.
Little Shan Cox died. To anyone outside of Sabine County, those words bring little emotion. To those of us in this little triangular shaped portion of Deep East Texas, those words bring devastation. He was a great kid, just turned 21 years old, the potential was there to be a great man. He had so many friends, and was from a huge family...there is so much grief in this little town, you can feel it in the air.
Shan's mom is one of my best friends. We have only been friends for about 3 years now...brought together by Barcheers. Go figure. I can't even tell you how or why we clicked, but we did and we've been through some shenanigans. We each know stories on the other that no one else knows. She is the reason that I decided to leave Brookshire Brothers to start chasing turnarounds. We have actually gotten to work on a couple of jobs together and we had a damn good time together.
My heart aches for her. She has always been fearful that something would happen to one of her kids, but mostly Shan. It's a fear that all parents have, but with Maria, it bordered on paranoia. It's almost as if she always knew he wasn't going to be here long and she actually dreamed of his death around the end of May. She was working in Wyoming and called me and told me about her dream...how bad it scared her. She even went to Shan and told him about it, begged him to be careful and he told her that he believed that if it was your time to go, nothing was going to stop it. Looking back on the accident...Shan was one of 3 people in that vehicle. None of them had seatbelts on, but yet Shan was the only who did not make it. I don't know if it was God's way of preparing Maria for what was coming, but in her heart of hearts, I think she knew it was.
I sat with Maria, on her back porch...just a couple of hours after the accident. Birds were singing, dawn was breaking, and she was trying to figure out how she was going to live the rest of her life without her son. I know this is a process that she is going to have to go work through on her on...As much loss as I have had in my life, I have never lost a child, and I just pray I never do. I'm here for you, Maria...
Shan's mom is one of my best friends. We have only been friends for about 3 years now...brought together by Barcheers. Go figure. I can't even tell you how or why we clicked, but we did and we've been through some shenanigans. We each know stories on the other that no one else knows. She is the reason that I decided to leave Brookshire Brothers to start chasing turnarounds. We have actually gotten to work on a couple of jobs together and we had a damn good time together.
My heart aches for her. She has always been fearful that something would happen to one of her kids, but mostly Shan. It's a fear that all parents have, but with Maria, it bordered on paranoia. It's almost as if she always knew he wasn't going to be here long and she actually dreamed of his death around the end of May. She was working in Wyoming and called me and told me about her dream...how bad it scared her. She even went to Shan and told him about it, begged him to be careful and he told her that he believed that if it was your time to go, nothing was going to stop it. Looking back on the accident...Shan was one of 3 people in that vehicle. None of them had seatbelts on, but yet Shan was the only who did not make it. I don't know if it was God's way of preparing Maria for what was coming, but in her heart of hearts, I think she knew it was.
I sat with Maria, on her back porch...just a couple of hours after the accident. Birds were singing, dawn was breaking, and she was trying to figure out how she was going to live the rest of her life without her son. I know this is a process that she is going to have to go work through on her on...As much loss as I have had in my life, I have never lost a child, and I just pray I never do. I'm here for you, Maria...
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